Why Making Swiss Friends Takes Serious Effort

Every country has unwritten rules. But Switzerland has elevated them to an art form. The problem? Nobody will explain them to you. In this article, let's take a look at something we hear foreigners here say all the time: "It is so hard to make friends in Switzerland."

Reserved to keep the peace

There's an unfortunate saying that circulates among expats in Switzerland. It goes like this: Switzerland is a wonderful country. Too bad it's inhabited by Swiss people.

Harsh? Maybe. But the numbers back it up. According to an Expat Insider Report, Switzerland consistently ranks near the bottom when it comes to friendliness (46th out of 53 countries in a recent edition). While expats love the quality of life and the nature in Switzerland, it's connecting with the local people that they seem to struggle with.

As Swiss journalist Michele Binswanger wrote in a remarkably honest piece in the Tages-Anzeiger: the Swiss are an Alpine people, not known for Mediterranean warmth or effusive friendliness. They operate with caution and restraint. This reserve, she argues, is deeply tied to Switzerland's identity as a small country where multiple cultures coexist peacefully, and where keeping the peace requires everyone to hold back a little.

Friendship is a slow burn

When we posted about this on Instagram, the comments told the same story over and over: making friends in Switzerland takes real effort, and the effort has to come from you. A true friendship with a Swiss person is built over months, sometimes even years. It needs consistent, reliable interaction.

As one commenter who's been here for six years put it: "As an expat, you are the one who needs to make the effort if you want to be friends with a native. It took a few years, but worth the effort." Another, who's spent half her life here, confirmed that the Swiss simply don't need more friends — their schedules are already full.

But the payoff? Every single person said the same thing: once a Swiss person becomes a real friend, you can expect a loyal "show-up-when-it-matters" friend who helps you move apartments and remembers your birthday for the next 40 years.

Language unlocks many doors

Here's something we are absolutely convinced of (and Justin most of all): Make an effort to learn the local language. Whether that's Swiss German, French, Italian, or Romansch. Even just speaking a few words and phrases from the very beginning of your time in Switzerland can change everything. It's often the quickest way to get recognition and respect from the Swiss.

PRO tip: For everyone living in the Germanic part of Switzerland, you need to learn Swiss German and not only the high German spoken in Germany and taught in your language class.

If there is a local dialect in the specific place where you live and work, be sure to focus on that. Most Swiss Germans are native Swiss German speakers, and their truest selves show through in Swiss German. We have seen it many times that they even prefer to switch to English before being forced to speak high German.

Dialects for president!

Connect with new Swiss you meet by asking about their native dialect and how it differs from other nearby dialects. One of the favorite dinner conversation topics for groups of Swiss is talking about their dialects and comparing different words. Asking about it is a sure way to fill any awkward silences in conversation and get your future Swiss friend to open up some.